Saturday, January 25, 2020

Comment Wall for Robin Hood: Raiders of the Lost Bow


Looking forward to reading/implementing your feedback!



(Wooded Corridor in Sherwood Forest: Photo by Scott Willoughby)

10 comments:

  1. Hey Ryan!

    Love the story so far (Little John and Ronin in Disguise) as the Indiana-Jones style of adventure you are looking for is off to a great start. The use of suspense when Robin first encounters Little John and does not know if he is a friend or foe, as he is a rather large man at three hundred plus pounds, is fantastic and could definitely be applied later on as the heroes get closer to the legendary bow. I also enjoy how you have been tying in Robin Hood's universe at every point such as the Bishop or the town of Barnsdale and am looking forward to seeing where the story plays out and how it ties into Robin Hood's world. Last thing I want to include is Robin's classic use of deception in Barnsdale and how much I think it fits with both his usual portrayal and your story, great work so far! I can't wait to see where the story goes from here!

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  2. Hi Ryan! I enjoyed reading your first story a lot, it was well-written and was a great opening to your storybook. I like that you maintained the overall plot of the original story whilst still incorporating some new elements to match your Indiana Jones theme. I also think it was clever that you used pre-existing characters of Robin Hood's stories to add depth to the narrative and tie in with future stories.
    One thing I did notice that felt a bit off was the recurrent use of parenthesis at the beginning of the story. I think it felt off because writer usually use commas or dashes when clarifying the character's thoughts or adding some side commentary. Maybe this is just me, but I thought it might be worth mentioning it in case you want to edit it. In any case it is still a great story and I can't wait to read the rest!

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  3. Hello Ryan,

    I would like to start off by saying that I really enjoyed reading Little John. I liked how you were able to make the theme of the story an Indian Jones type of theme. The story in my opinion flowed really well even when incorporating new elements into the original story. I think it was neat to add more depth to the characters in the story which made the story much better. I also like that you were able to tie Robin Hood's world into your story. There were some parts of the story that I believe that could be improved upon. I like that there is much detail given about what all Robin Hood was carrying when he went into the forrest. Overall I think you did a great job with retelling the story and also can not wait to read the rest of the story soon.

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  4. Hi Ryan! I love the look of your site! It fits the vibe of your topic so well and it just looks great! I’m really glad someone decided to do a project on Robin Hood. I almost did and loved the ballads, but ultimately went with something else. My favorite story from the ballads was “Robin Hood and Little John,” so I’m so glad you chose to rewrite that! The way you were able to deviate from the original, but still keep with the idea of it was fantastic. The overlap with the Indiana Jones theming is a great idea and works so well with Robin Hood and his shenanigans. I don’t really have any useful suggestions. Keep doing what you’re doing! If you want to play up the world that your characters are in a bit more, you could, but I really think you’re doing a good job with that already. I’m looking forward to seeing where the story goes!

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  5. Hey Ryan! This storybook had me immersed completely right from the start. I felt like I was reading a completely authentic Robin Hood story. It was a good idea to maintain some consistency with characters and locations, as that keeps some congruence with the original text. However, it is clear that your story has a definite, new vision for Robin Hood's adventure. You portray Robin Hood as just an all around, athletic, clever, skilled person who is able to rally people to his cause at will. In addition, I like how you added elements of Indiana Jones in there as well. I think that Robin Hood's character and Indiana Jones both share a love for adventure and would get along if they could meet one another! I am curious to see how the whole archery competition is going to go down, but judging by Robin Hood's demeanor I'm pretty confident that he'll be able to make easy work of his competition. Great job, keep it up!

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  6. Ryan,
    Growing up I read Robin Hood and watched the movies with my mom. I grew up surrounded with the idea of what I thought he was. You painted a picture that was completely different than what I envisioned in my head. Thank you for that. I love how you created so many specific details within the story to make it your own while, working on progressing the story forward. The adventures he is about to embark on. I enjoy those different details that you chose to add that created a whole new vision for the story. I like how you are choosing to tell the stories from the points of views from the people around him was very clever because it completes the full picture. I really enjoy this version of this story.

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  7. Hey Ryan!

    I absolutely loved your opening and closing lines. I couldn't help but think of the Disney song, "Robin Hood and Little John walking through the forest..." (It's stuck in my head now, but totally worth it.)

    I'm also glad that you stayed true to the original cast and didn't modify it. I know Disney used King Richard as to not confuse children with two Johns, but I'm glad you stayed with it anyway. It made it more authentic.

    I'm excited to see more of these Indiana Jones inspired shenanigans that ensue with Robin Hood and Little John. You definitely got me intrigued by the introduction. I was also sucked in by the way your website was designed. Excellent job.

    I think you should add more character motivation for Robin. Why did he shoot Little John's hat off? Was he trying to scare him, or was he amusing himself? I think it would add more depth to your story if you explain why he does some of the things he does.

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  8. Hi Ryan! Your website is beautifully designed, but simplistic enough that it doesn't distract us from the story. I'm not super familiar with Robin Hood, so this was a great chance to learn about him and his adventures. I had heard of Little John before, and I like that you included him in your first story so that I could meet both him and Robin. I also love that you're mixing different stories together and making them your own, it makes them unique and really interesting to read. Everything is overall well-written, my only suggestion is that you maybe add a bit more character development for Robin. I felt like in the last story ("The Golden Arrow") we got a really good sense of Maid Marian's feelings and motivations, but I didn't get as much of that from Robin in this story and the others. Overall, really great job with this!

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  9. Hello Ryan,

    I would like to begin by saying that I really enjoyed reading your story. I also love the way your site is designed and the way that it looks. When I was growing up I loved reading Robin Hood stories. I love the character Robin Hood and also the adventures that the story brings people. I like how you included Little John into the story which was a nice touch. I like how you put a unique touch to the story by mixing the two stories together which allows you to have a one of a kind story. I really enjoy the different levels of details that you chose to include into your story. Overall you did great with the story that you have written and I can not wait to read more of your stories that include Indiana Jones shenanigans. I wish you luck in your future stories.

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  10. Hi Ryan!

    Checking back in on your story book, and I must say that I really like each of the images that you've been using as the header for each page as they help me sort of visual the setting or characters for each page of the storybook. These images each capture a sort of mood that sets the tone for each of the pages as I have not seen many other storybooks so far at least use differing pictures (at least I have not yet). I also really like the use of dialogue throughout the story as most people already know about the characters in your story either from reading the original story or some similar version as well as the old Disney adaptation, and this is a great way to sort of establish the personalities and character traits for your own retelling rather than using block text to describe them. I also enjoy how the characters going back and forth in this fashion helps get the reader more invested in each scene. Overall, a great job so far and I can't wait to see where you go from here!

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